I have received discreet and not-so-discreet requests to give a no holds barred review of the vaginal tightening laser that I had subjected myself to recently. And so here is the low-down.
What is it?
My husband and after we took “her” for a test drive recently.
The FotonaSmooth Intimalase laser is a device that is more commonly used to treat conditions such as stress urinary incontinence (SUI), vaginal laxity and even prolapses particularly in menopausal women.
Pregnancy and childbirth are the major causes of SUI in women; they cause the stretching and weakening of the ligaments, nerves and pelvic floor muscles that normally work together to support the bladder and keep the urethra closed so you don’t leak urine. If you leak when you sneeze, cough, laugh, or when bearing weights, chances are you have SUI. Some SUI cases resolve some time after childbirth but others don’t. The more children you have later in life and the older you are, the more prolonged your suffering (and embarrassment) is likely to be.
Before menopause, the oestrogen a woman’s ovaries make helps keep the skin of the vagina healthy and supple and also stimulates vaginal secretions. The ovaries stop making oestrogen after menopause leading to vaginal atrophy – the thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal canal that can make sex uncomfortable and painful. Vaginal atrophy can also be caused by other factors such as medications or hormones used to decrease oestrogen levels in women, as part of treatment for breast cancer, endometriosis, fibroids or infertility. Excessive dieting and obesity tend to worsen vaginal laxity.
For vaginal laxity, this Erbium YAG laser works by stimulating the remodelling of collagen, restoring the elasticity of the connective structures of the vaginal wall while tightening the vaginal canal. For those with SUI the laser gives support to the bladder which in turn improves continence function. It is non-invasive, does not require downtime, takes about as long as putting on your daytime makeup (20 minutes) and the latest unique patented 360 degree robotic arm ensures the uniform and accurate treatment of the vaginal canal.
Why did I go for it?
The unabashed obgyn Dr Jennifer Poning-Lee with the FotonaSmooth Intimalase probe. Photo by FotonaSmooth Intimalase
By now you are probably wondering why a nulliparous (medical speak for never had children) and pre-pre-pre-menopausal woman like me is going for such a treatment.
I learnt that women who had their SUI and vaginal atrophy treated with this laser also reported the pleasant side effect it had on their sex lives due to the better grip of their newly-modelled love vents. And that piqued my interest.
Dr Jennifer Poning-Lee, a cheeky, delightfully rambunctious obstetrician-gynaecologist and trainer for FotonaSmooth Intimalase who I had the pleasure of meeting in February said that I was the perfect candidate for the treatment because being nulliparous and pre-pre-pre-menopausal, my partner and I would feel the effects more quickly and markedly.
My dear husband was also keen to find out what sort of effect it would have on our sex life which is often stampeded upon by work. He had always considered me a reasonably good fit for his ANG MOH PROPORTIONS and could not imagine what “a better grip” would feel like so off I went.
What was the treatment like?
I was treated by Dr Lee, who was also training Singapore-based obstetrician-gynaecologist Dr Ang Huai Yan from International Women’s Clinic at the same time. Subsequent treatments will be conducted by Dr Ang.
I was some days before Auntie Rosnah was due and I had a little ooze of vaginitis — the doctors said it was nothing serious as minor inflammation is a pre-menstrual feature for some women. I was told that it was the best time for me to go for a treatment as I would need to be celibate for three days to a week to allow the effects to develop.
A naked and very friendly David Gandy (in my head) helped me along.
Photo is by Marks & Spencer
With ankles in stirrups like for a typical PAP smear, lube was smeared over the speculum (the little glass test tube that covers the probe) to make treatment more comfortable. Each woman would have her own personal speculum when she signs up for a treatment and its main function is to make sure that the energy is beamed evenly throughout – so no part of her beaver is either charred or undercooked.
I asked the ladies to give me a few seconds to meditate upon a naked and very friendly David Gandy and into my fragrant flower it went.
It felt mostly warm and comfortable except towards the end, when it felt as if a toothbrush was rotating inside of me. It had the similar prickly sensation of a typical laser treatment on the face, except that this was inside of me. When Dr Lee was done with my insides, she switched the laser to another mode which made it capable of lightening and brightening my wattle-petals (vulva) and the hood over my pleasure pea (clitoris). I did not peer down to check as I was still contemplating the rotating toothbrush.
And just like that, my knickers were snapped back into place, my skirt smoothed over my thighs and I was out to my next appointment the whole time wondering what was bubbling in my secret tunnel.
I had just over 10 days of celibacy – the first few days was on the doctor’s orders and the next week was because Auntie Rosnah came to visit.
And so my husband and I decided to try it on for size after the oath of celibacy was completed and interestingly, yes (yes, yes, yes!), there was some marked and noticeable improvement.
There was better grip all around and for me, in some positions the sensation was more marked than others. Some nerve-endings I knew little of or never knew I had were firing away due to the increased contact between the fingers, joystick, batons, etc and the honey pot.
And so when we were finally panting and spent and lying next to each other, he gave me a deadpan slowmo thumbs-up and we giggled like teenagers.
I was soon due for another session with Dr Ang and so “just to remember exactly what it felt like” before I went in, we had another roll in the lalang.
The effects were still very much there (for some reason I had not expected them to last). However, I was paranoid. I was worried that the second session was going to make the clam so tight that it could lift a fistful of marbles by suction but unable to pop them out. And while sex did feel fantastic, every now and then I asked to slow down as I was wondering if I was chafing without realising it. Each time my husband assured me that I was producing enough of my own lube to facilitate the relentless pummeling that I was apparently due.
And off I went to see Dr Ang. She said that Dr Lee had paid quite a lot of attention to the first few inches from the opening of the cave at the first treatment and not so much on the inside, so that day she was going to beam me more on the inside.
This time as I was mid-cycle, Dr Ang said I did not need any lubrication on my speculum as I would be producing my own lube.
My husband and I took it for another test drive when we were in Kuala Lumpur for a friend’s wedding and he said that it was indeed a little tighter past the few inches from the entrance than before. He was however very grumpy that we did not spend more time in bed as I had wanted to try a couple of new eateries in Bangsar (which was nearly an hour drive each way from our Pullman Putrajaya hotel) and he made sure I did not forget it.
Dr Ang said that she would typically recommend up to two sessions spaced a month apart for most cases of vaginal laxity but those with severe vaginal atrophy might require up to four sessions.
For appointments, please call International Women’s Clinic at 65757575 or Whatsapp at
+65 8111 9777
Although by improving the physical aspect of your sex life the laser could indirectly improve your relationship with your partner, it will not improve relationship problems if caused by emotional and psychological issues. If the latter is true of your relationship, perhaps it makes more sense for you to see a counsellor or therapist than a gynae.
Sex becomes the stuff of magic not because you have a tight va-jay-jay and are doing it with a smitten David Gandy, but because you are connected – and connection is a two-way street – with the person you are doing it with. And a great connection makes the positive effects of great sex permeate your being and not just the organs required to do it. Enjoy responsibly.